Show vs. Tell (How far do you go?)

Most of us writers have heard the big lecture "Show vs. Tell"...

Many of us have heard at least once in our critiques that "you do a lot of telling... don't tell me the man entered the room, show me..."

How you define showing vs. telling can sometimes be a little tricky. Many times I try to show as much as possible, but I still end up hearing "you do a lot of telling.."

Obviously a phrase like "She was happy" is telling. But what about "She smiled"?

After all the verb to smile is a fairly active verb. Still some would consider saying "She smiled" as too generic.

There are some critique readers who would say: Don't tell me she smiled, show her lips smiling.

So then, you end up writing more detail, perhaps something like this:

Her rosy lips brightened. The edges of her mouth curved upward.

Critique person: You do a lot of telling. Don't tell the readers her lips are rosy. Show us. Also don't tell us her mouth curved, show us how it curved. And you shouldn't use adverbs so take out "upward"... Also no adjectives, metaphors, similes or 'to be' verbs.

The question is, depending on the context, unless the way she smiles is unique and super significant, is it necessary to go into detail, or is it sufficient to say "She smiled." ?

Of course there is the issue of flow and pacing. After all, if we already have a picture of the character established by previous description, can the readers imagine how she smiled in their heads?

Don't get me wrong, details are always fun. Some will nitpick whatever you do. (Of course at times they may be correct.) The question is how far do you go?

The Ostrich and the Vulture

In a faraway land, a tall tree bears golden apples that give the eater the power to fly.

These apples only grow on the highest point of the tree.

An ostrich named Struza treks through the woods in search of the powerful tree.

A vulture named Grib flies through the woods. He also searches for the apples.

"Where are you going?" Grib asks the ostrich.

"I'm on my way to find the golden apples," she says.

Grib flies away from Struza, but follows her without her seeing him.

Struza finds the tree. Because Grib has followed her, he also knows the location.

Struza struggles to reach the top. She tries to jump and fly but cannot reach the apples.

She sees Grib flying to the top, taking one of the apples.

"Hey!" says Struza. "Could you pass one to me?"

"Why would I do that?" asks Grib.

"I can't reach it," says Struza. "I can't fly as high as you, nor can I climb."

"If I can reach the top of this tree without any help, then so can you. "

"But I already told you that I'm not built like you!"

"Not my fault if you can't fly."

"Ostriches usually can't fly, but if you help me have an apple, then I'll fly like you."

"I'm not sure I like the idea of that."

"Why do you need the apple anyway? You already have the power to fly. You need more power?"

"I just need more power to make sure my flying abilities don't get taken away."

Grib flies away with faster flight than before. Struza stays on the ground.