Preview: The Face of the Pumpkin

    Chapter 1

The Pumpkin 

Most people cannot say that they remember their birth, but I am not like most people. At least I remember the mystic spell which granted my current form. I am a Pumpkin, and as a plant I already lived, but as an ordinary pumpkin, and ordinary pumpkins seldom remember or even think of remembering. None of them have thought or concern for their identity or their environment. I once sat like them until one Halloween night when I awoke in this world. I awoke in a place full of magic and mystery: Salem, Massachusetts.

    On that miraculous night, this spell provided me a mind. I still sat without the power to hear, see or move, but somehow I felt and thought, having the gift of language in my mind. I knew that my mind existed in a round shape of a body, a body which sat on dirt. I had words and sentences to describe concepts that I never thought before in my evolved mind. 

A Story on Privilege (Bilingual Edition) / Un cuento acerca de los privilegios (Edición Bilingüe)

The Ostrich and the Vulture
El avestruz y el buitre

In a faraway land, a tall tree bears golden apples that give the eater the power to fly.

En una región lejana, un árbol alto da manzanas doradas que dan al comedor el poder de volar.

These apples only grow on the highest point of the tree.

Estas manzanas crecen solamente en el punto más alto del árbol.

An ostrich named Struza treks through the woods in search of the powerful tree.

Un avestruz que se llama Struza camina por el bosque buscando el árbol poderoso.

A vulture named Grib flies through the woods. He also searches for the apples.

Un buitre que se llama Grib vuela por el bosque. Él también busca las manzanas.

"Where are you going?" Grib asks the ostrich.

-¿Adónde vas? - Grib pregunta al avestruz.

"I'm on my way to find the golden apples," she says.

- Estoy de camino a encontrar las manzanas doradas - ella dice.

Grib flies away from Struza, but follows her without her seeing him.

Grib deja a Struza volando, pero la sigue sin que ella lo vea.

Struza finds the tree. Because Grib has followed her, he also knows the location.

Struza encuentra el árbol. Como Grib la ha seguido, él también sabe la ubicación.

Struza struggles to reach the top. She tries to jump and fly but cannot reach the apples.

Struza lucha alcanzar la copa. Trata de saltar y volar pero no puede alcanzar las manzanas.

She sees Grib flying to the top, taking one of the apples.

Ve a Grib volando hacia la copa, tomando una de las manzanas.

"Hey!" says Struza. "Could you pass one to me?"

-¡Oye!- dice Struza, - ¿Me puedes pasar una? 

"Why would I do that?" asks Grib.

¿Por qué haría eso? pregunta Grib.

"I can't reach it," says Struza. "I can't fly as high as you, nor can I climb."

-No puedo alcanzarla - dice Struza. - No puedo volar tan alto como tú, ni sé subir.

"If I can reach the top of this tree without any help, then so can you. "

- Si yo puedo alcanzar la copa de este árbol sin ayuda, pues tú también puedes.

"But I already told you that I'm not built like you!"

- ¡Pero ya te he dicho que no soy construida como tú!

"Not my fault if you can't fly."

- La culpa no tengo yo si tú no sabes volar.

"Ostriches usually can't fly, but if you help me have an apple, then I'll fly like you."

- Los avestruces usualmente no saben volar, pero si me ayudas a conseguir una manzana, volaré como tú.

"I'm not sure I like the idea of that."

- No estoy seguro si me gusta esa idea.

"Why do you need the apple anyway? You already have the power to fly.”

- Por cierto, ¿Por qué necesitas la manzana? Ya tienes el poder de volar.

"I just need more power to make sure my flying abilities don't get taken away."

- Es que necesito más poder para asegurarme que no me quiten las habilidades de volar.

Grib flies away with faster flight than before. Struza stays on the ground.

Grib se marcha volando con más rapidez que antes, Struza queda en el suelo. 

Fables of the Fauna

Update: I've been on break for a long time, but I thought I would post about a new project involving publishing a few of my short stories but with more visuals. Three of them are already on this blog.

The Deviating Seagull (Fauna in the Sky)
The Ostrich and the Vulture (Fauna of a Faraway Land)
The Fate of the Fox and the Owl (Fauna of Louloudhi Meadow)
The Zebra Prince (Fauna of Zapalinia)

Halloween Preview

Here is an excerpt from Chapter 1 of The Face of the Pumpkin. 

Narrated by the newborn Pumpkin on Halloween night. 

As I took a better peek at the houses I spotted pumpkins with carved faces sitting in front of many homes. At first I thought I had found beings like me. It intrigued me and filled me with joy to see other Pumpkins. I climbed up the steps of one of the houses and thought about what to say. Somehow I felt more at ease talking to beings closer to my size and appearance than talking to the taller humans.                                                                                     

“Hello,” I said to them. The pumpkins did not move their mouths or eyes or even their heads. They did nothing. Unlike me, they did not have any arms or legs, so I expected them to sit still, but they did not even move their faces. I examined them and discovered that they had artificial faces and could not see me or hear me or know I talked to them. They did not talk or think about talking. People must have used them as decorations containing candles that enhanced the Halloween scene. Like all the other pumpkins, everyone in this town ignored me.

~~~~~~                                                                                        

As I continued strolling down the street, I felt the presence of someone behind me. I turned around and viewed a translucent man with a body of dim light. I could almost see through him. Despite his size and vibrance, everyone marched through him like an invisible being that did not exist. As I studied his eyes, a sight of surprise gasped from his face, as if he did not expect me to see him. He flew away from my view as if he blew himself away. I turned away in confusion and continued exploring the street, wondering if I might ever see the ghost again. 

A short time later, I spotted a house where people celebrated in their unfenced lawn. A tied-up object hung from a tree with the form of a green-skinned woman dressed in black, but did not live or breathe. The children covered their eyes with blind-folds and grabbed some sort of stick. They took turns beating the suspended figure. Some of them called the figure a witch...

~~~~~~~~                                                                                         

One of the children managed to beat the witch figure so much that out fell a ton of the treasures called candy. As I peeked myself closer, the scents of chocolate, licorice and other sorts of juicy sweetness filled my nose. Some of the children grabbed over a dozen pieces and placed them in the mouths, displaying the most satisfied smiles. Such sweetness opened my curiosity about the joy that this candy contained. After the children went inside, a few pieces remained under the tree that no one had retrieved from the ground. As I assumed no one could see me, I crept along the grass toward the tree. As I stepped into the middle of the lawn, two of the children peered out the window.

Their mouths dropped at the sight of a walking Pumpkin with arms, legs and a face. One of the kids opened the window and tossed a stone towards me. I jumped, wanting to hide myself. I did not have enough time to hide myself behind the tree without the kids finding me, so I retreated the yard. The two children opened the door to go outside, and threw stones at me....

Quote Cards from The Face of the Pumpkin

Here are two quote cards from the first chapter.

The Zebra Prince

In the kingdom of Zapalinia, a lonely zebra prince named Zer wanted more than anything to play with all the other zebras who lived outside the castle walls. His parents,King Zokeras and Queen Zafarina told him that a zebra like him could never play with any zebras that didn’t have noble stripes. 

One day Zer looked out the window from the castle and saw a distant group of zebras his own age playing some sort of game. Due to curiosity, he decided to join the other zebras, but he needed a disguise. He took some paint and added a basic black texture to his stripes to conceal his royalty. 

Zer snuck out of the castle and found his way to the field where the other zebras were playing that strange game. 

“What is that you are playing?" Zer asked one of the zebras. 

“We’re playing zoo-zap," she said. “Haven’t you ever heard of zoo-zap?” 

“No,” said Zer. 

“That’s odd. Everyone in this land knows of this game. Even the pigs of Pagamonia know how to play. You’ve heard of Pagamonia, right?” 

“Of course,” said Zer who had heard of the nearby kingdom ruled by pigs, as his private tutors in the castle taught him all about geography. However, no one uttered any mention of such games as zoo-zap in the castle. 

“My name is Zaba. What’s yours?” 

“Uhh…. Zupid, yeah that’s right“. 

“Zupid? That’s a silly name.” 

“Silly?” questioned Zer. 

“Yeah,” said Zaba. “You’re not from Zapalinia, are you?” 

“Why do you think that?” 

“Well, you obviously don’t know a thing about this kingdom for one thing. Plus your stripes look strange to me too.” 

The other zebras stopped for a moment with their match of zoo-zap and stared at Zer. 

“You know his stripes do look rather funny,” said one of the other zebra players. 

“He looks rather nervous,” said another zebra. “How do we know he’s not one of those zebras from the island of Zazavozia?” 

They stared at him and trotted towards him. Some of the zebras snuck up behind Zer and grabbed him and tied him to a tree. They ripped out pieces of mud with their hooves and threw them at Zer. 

One of the guards at the castle glanced over at the site and galloped towards the angry mob of zebra players. The evening clouds expanded and went darker. As the zebras were teasing and throwing mud at Zer, the rain poured down on them. 

Just as the rain fell, the castle guard arrived and ordered the other zebras to stop. The guard looked at Zer tied to the tree and studied his face and identified him as Prince Zer. 

“Prince Zer!” cried the castle guard. “What are you doing out here?” The guard then sneered at the zebra players. “What have you been doing to our prince?” 

“The prince?!” said the zebras. 

Not only had the rain washed away all the mud, but it also removed the painted details of Zer’s stripes. As the other zebras looked at Zer, they saw Zer’s true blue stripes. 

"I am so sorry," said Zaba. 

"I think your apology is a little too late," said one of the guards.

Zer had now seen the cruelty and the tyranny a mob of zebras could do to someone. Zer went back to the castle and decided to stay there for the foreseeable future. Zer did hope that one day he would find happiness outside the castle walls and see the world from an even greater distance.
---------------------------------------------------------

Question: Can zebras change their stripes? 

Retcon (Retro Continuity)

Retcon is something that occurs sometimes in series and franchises which take place in the same continuity. This happens in a book series or TV series when something is mentioned (or not mentioned) in Book 3, for example, (or Season 3, etc.) that seems to contradict the continuity of an earlier book/episode. For example, in Book 1, a character has two brothers, and they mention only having two brothers, but then in Book 4, a never-before-mentioned third brother appears, and everyone seems to know him.

Sometimes we see the opposite where a sibling (or other character) disappears without an explanation, and it's as if they never existed. This is called the Chuck Cunningham Syndrome named after the forgotten Happy Days brother. Other examples of this include Tiger in The Brady Bunch, Judy in Family Matters and a lot of characters in Doctor Who....

Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome could also be considered a retcon, which is common in television series and sometimes movies, but probably rare in books, since the reason is to replace the child actors with older actors. (Cartoons like The Simpsons and Rugrats could be considered the reverse.)

Another type of retcon can occur not from exact contradictions in continuity, but from introducing an object or character in the franchise that was never mentioned before, where the opportunity could have allowed a mention, but it didn't because the writers probably didn't know about it yet.

A television example of this would be in Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Season 2. In the season premiere we're introduced to Lord Zedd, the superior to Rita Repulsa. (He was introduced as a new villain because they were out of Japanese footage and were replacing it with original footage, which explains why Rita was later replaced by a different actress, although her voice was the same.) The reason this feels like a retcon (even to children who saw it like myself) is that not once in all 60 episodes of Season 1 was there ever any mention of Rita having a superior leader (and later we'd introduce more villains that were part of an even larger villain group in the galaxy led by Dark Specter)... Also the fact that Rita was trapped in a dumpster for 10,000 years also adds to the retcons, especially when her brother and father are added in Season 3. (The movie with Ivan Ooze is not considered a retcon, since it took place in a different continuity despite having most of the same cast from the series.)

Once Upon a Time has been pretty good at keeping up with continuity for the most part where little has ever contradicted... despite a number of characters who have shown up having never been mentioned before. Still there have been a number of Chekhov's Gun examples (which is one way to avoid the accusation of retcons...) Many retcon issues have been explained by memory magic, for example, Emma's relation with the Snow Queen or Regina and Zelena's childhood experience. One of the biggest times I felt retcon was in the Season 4 episode where Robin Hood has a history in Oz with Zelena. The reason this feels a little like a retcon is that a year earlier Robin and Regina were having dialogue about what to do with Zelena, and I don't remember him ever saying that he had met the Wicked Witch. Technically I don't think he ever said that he didn't know her, but the fact that he didn't mention it, when there would have been an opportunity is what seems to mess with the continuity.

I'm not even going to go into examples of retcon from Doctor Who, which has existed for so long that it's bound to happen...

(Not necessarily retcon... but Captain Kirk seemed to violate the Prime Directive in the original Star Trek series.)

Now when it comes to books... I haven't experienced this as much with books which take place in the same continuity, although the Oz books come into mind (I know, first Once Upon a Time, and now this, I have a habit of bringing up Oz, and this probably won't be the last.) The Wicked Witch was rarely mentioned in later books... fair enough since she only appeared in one chapter and was only mentioned a few times beyond that... but the Good Witch of the North basically disappeared from the continuity. Without giving away specific spoilers, there were also retcons made involving the Wizard and Ozma.

In my own writing, I have tried to deal with this. If I know that a character has an unseen sibling or a cousin, I don't want to wait too long to mention this. (Although that doesn't mean it has to be a gratuitous mention, but at some point I do need to think about the reasons for why related characters are absent.) This is why it can be a great advantage to think ahead while revising the draft of a novel. The Face of the Pumpkin is written as a standalone book in which all the major plot points are resolved in twelve chapters. However, that doesn't mean that I didn't include information that was both relative to the characters and that story that may have also been a Chekhov's Gun/Boomerang for later stories. (I also may or may not have written most of the first draft of a sequel...)

Characters from The Face of the Pumpkin

Here is a description of three of the main characters from my book!

Main Characters

Gordy Komori 

Gordy is a fallen fire sorcerer turned ghost. A year earlier he was betrayed and poisoned by his police partner, who later became the sheriff. The traitor also managed to frame his companion, a Bat, named Eeltog. At the present night, the Bat is due for execution at dawn. Gordy’s ghost form stays on this earth, waiting to settle unfinished business before he can reunite with his late parents. Gordy was born in Japan to ordinary parents without magic, but at the age of two, he showed signs of being a fire sorcerer. The Salem Society of Sorcery invited him and his family to live in Salem for protection. Gordy eventually got control of his fire powers, but could not use his magic to save his parents from a fire. After the loss of his parents, Gordy became a police officer in order to serve others and create peaceful justice. His police partner, Sam, on the other hand, wanted power, which led to the end of Gordy’s life. As a ghost, Gordy regrets that he no longer has influence on the affairs of the living, but still wishes he could protect the Bat, Eeltog.

Annie Airgid

Annie is an air sorceress who befriended Gordy and participated in magic training with him. Annie is the daughter of an ordinary man and a former dictator sorceress, now banished for thirty-five years. Her father never liked the idea of Annie involving herself with magic, since her mother’s magic resulted in huge damage. Annie has not seen her mother since the age of six and has a volatile relationship with her ordinary father. As a sorceress (also called a witch), Annie works as a pizza chef, making magical pizzas in a matter of minutes, much loved by everyone in the Sorcery Society, especially her Cat, Seronethera. Annie also has a special relationship with Gordy’s Bat, Eeltog, as prior to working with Gordy, Eeltog worked with Annie’s banished mother. After Eeltog’s undeserved arrest for poisoning Gordy, Annie set herself to work on a necromancy spell that would allow her to communicate with the ghost of her fallen friend. After a year of performing tasks and gathering ingredients around the world (and a sword from Mars), Annie enacted the rare necromancy spell, offering the most surprising result. 

The Pumpkin

Annie created this unique character one Halloween night, as the unexpected result of her necromancy spell. Not understanding the Pumpkin’s true purpose, Annie is disappointed, making the Pumpkin feel unwanted. The Pumpkin desires the approval of Annie and others in this confusing world. As the main protagonist and narrator, the readers learn about the Salem Society of Sorcery through the Pumpkin’s experiences. The necromancy spell grants the Pumpkin extraordinary linguistic abilities, but this hero still struggles with understanding people and will be tested in knowing right from wrong. The ordinary people of this world do not accept a walking, talking Pumpkin and many people with magic find it a stretch as well. This character has a goal for understanding self-identity and wanting a place to belong. The Pumpkin’s magic is unpredictable and based on emotions. As a product of Annie’s necromancy spell, the Pumpkin is the only one who can see and communicate with the ghost of Gordy, and thus leads the Pumpkin’s quest in finding justice for the fallen sorcerer and the framed Bat before the execution at dawn. 

Show vs. Tell (How far do you go?)

Most of us writers have heard the big lecture "Show vs. Tell"...

Many of us have heard at least once in our critiques that "you do a lot of telling... don't tell me the man entered the room, show me..."

How you define showing vs. telling can sometimes be a little tricky. Many times I try to show as much as possible, but I still end up hearing "you do a lot of telling.."

Obviously a phrase like "She was happy" is telling. But what about "She smiled"?

After all the verb to smile is a fairly active verb. Still some would consider saying "She smiled" as too generic.

There are some critique readers who would say: Don't tell me she smiled, show her lips smiling.

So then, you end up writing more detail, perhaps something like this:

Her rosy lips brightened. The edges of her mouth curved upward.

Critique person: You do a lot of telling. Don't tell the readers her lips are rosy. Show us. Also don't tell us her mouth curved, show us how it curved. And you shouldn't use adverbs so take out "upward"... Also no adjectives, metaphors, similes or 'to be' verbs.

The question is, depending on the context, unless the way she smiles is unique and super significant, is it necessary to go into detail, or is it sufficient to say "She smiled." ?

Of course there is the issue of flow and pacing. After all, if we already have a picture of the character established by previous description, can the readers imagine how she smiled in their heads?

Don't get me wrong, details are always fun. Some will nitpick whatever you do. (Of course at times they may be correct.) The question is how far do you go?

The Ostrich and the Vulture

In a faraway land, a tall tree bears golden apples that give the eater the power to fly.

These apples only grow on the highest point of the tree.

An ostrich named Struza treks through the woods in search of the powerful tree.

A vulture named Grib flies through the woods. He also searches for the apples.

"Where are you going?" Grib asks the ostrich.

"I'm on my way to find the golden apples," she says.

Grib flies away from Struza, but follows her without her seeing him.

Struza finds the tree. Because Grib has followed her, he also knows the location.

Struza struggles to reach the top. She tries to jump and fly but cannot reach the apples.

She sees Grib flying to the top, taking one of the apples.

"Hey!" says Struza. "Could you pass one to me?"

"Why would I do that?" asks Grib.

"I can't reach it," says Struza. "I can't fly as high as you, nor can I climb."

"If I can reach the top of this tree without any help, then so can you. "

"But I already told you that I'm not built like you!"

"Not my fault if you can't fly."

"Ostriches usually can't fly, but if you help me have an apple, then I'll fly like you."

"I'm not sure I like the idea of that."

"Why do you need the apple anyway? You already have the power to fly. You need more power?"

"I just need more power to make sure my flying abilities don't get taken away."

Grib flies away with faster flight than before. Struza stays on the ground.

More Writing Updates

I started the Twitter account in late September. My goal was to reach 100 followers by Halloween! I ended up a few days early! Let's see if I can make it to 200 by the end of November!

I'm also considering participating in the NaNoWriMo... and work on a certain sequel. I've written the first chapter and started a flashback chapter. Perhaps I'll write the rest of the first draft in November!

Twitter Posts

A month ago, I started up a Twitter account.
Here are some of the posts relating to The Face of the Pumpkin!

Updates

This week I did the Relay for Life, watched more Once Upon a Time and wrote my first reply on Twitter in Portuguese.

Going back to my writing, I've tried to return to being a little more active on Critique Circle. I've also done more revising. Right now I'm doing another read-through of Part I and then I'll work on revising Part II before submitting my manuscript to a professional editor. This takes a long time, but hopefully it will be worth it!

Three Big Reasons Why I Write

I've always loved stories. I've loved thinking about characters and places and how this shapes a plot.

Reading a story is wonderful, but creating one yourself takes me to an all new dimension.

Making movies might be an eventual dream, but the greatness of writing books is that it is based on a limitless imagination with limitless worth without a huge price.

Classes of Magic: Teleportation

Last year, while waiting for a delayed train, I spent the time developing in my head the magic systems for The Face of the Pumpkin.

People in the Sorcery Society of Salem (as well as other magic groups of sorcery and enchantment) fit into four different classes of magic (earth, air, fire and water)... I came up with different advantages that these classes have and in particular, with regards to Teleportation.

Earth magic produces Green Apples that when eaten allow the person to transport to their wanted location. Disadvantage: You must always have apples on hand. Advantage: Although earth magic produces it, anyone can wield it.

Air magic allows Teleportation by thinking. It is perhaps the most advantageous, but it uses a lot of energy, and so one can only take in so much in a certain amount of time.

Fire magic is one of the most difficult as it requires the production of a potion that ignites a fire portal. Due to its power with light, Fire Teleportation is the only way to travel beyond Planet Earth.

Water magic is done through making portals by thought through bodies of water. It uses less personal energy than air magic and is easier for others to follow, but Point A and Point B must be in bodies of water (ocean, river, lake, swimming pool, etc)... It's always safer to travel with magic Blueberries to breathe under water.

Book Reading: The Once and Future King

This weekend I started reading T.H. White's The Once and Future King which includes the several volumes of The Sword in the Stone, The Queen of Air and Darkness, The Ill-Made Knight and The Candle in the Wind.

The Disney animated film, The Sword in the Stone, is based on the first book, and the musical/film Camelot, produced during the same era, is based on the later parts. Let's see how it works out reading all of these pages!

Title Card

Here is a book description from my new card! 

To Use "To Be" Verbs... or Not to Use "To Be" Verbs...

As I've gone through critique groups, people have mentioned my use on "to be" verbs and adverbs. As I continue revising I have started to cut out past "to be" verbs (was, were, been) as well as most adverbs, at least in the narrative. In dialogue I've cut some of them, but not all. This has helped a lot in making my sentences more active and less redundant. 

For eliminating adverbs, I found that almost half the time, I can take away the adverb and it has little affect on the sentence. Other times, I can use a different verb (I prefer to use verbs, however, that most people understand) or reword the phrase in a different way. 

Taking out "was" verbs presents more of a challenge, as this tends to require changing the whole sentence. 

Overall, this has helped strengthen my writing, although it does not do everything. For example, other issues include using too many other inactive verbs or indirect speech, etc.. 

The irony is that although it has helped me, many of the best writers use "to be" verbs and adverbs. Now some of these only use them sparingly, but they do use them. And of course these writers have a lot of experience and know how to make it work. 

For example, Roald Dahl, one of my most loved writers, used them quite a bit. The first chapter of James and the Giant Peach last about three pages. I counted about 23 past "to be" verbs and 6 adverbs. Describing things using words like "was/were" occurs quite a bit. That being said, it does not affect how I feel about the writing and I love the storyline. 

Other writers I like also use these sort of words such as J.K. Rowling, Jim Butcher, Philip Pullman, Gregory Maguire and many others use these sort of words. I suppose the issue has always been to know exactly when and how to use them. 

I'm back!

I've had huge computer issues which has set me back in my writing progress. Now that I have resolved issues, I'm back on track. I just did some more editing and submitted another chapter for review at Critique Circle. Stay tuned for more articles!

Setting and Plot

http://writerswrite.co.za/five-ways-to-use-setting-to-advance-a-plot

Above is an article that discusses the use of setting to advance the plot. 

Seven important details to consider are place, culture, era, geography (physical), things, time and weather. 

Place - Salem, Massachusetts / The (secret) Salem Society of Sorcery

Culture - It's contemporary North America, but under a magical Sorcery Society governed by the High Order. There are different classes to magic (fire, water, earth & air), as well as different magic practices. The Salem Society follows the practice and ideology of sorcery, but others such as the Realm in Edinburgh, follows the practice of enchantment.

Era - 2010s decade (with references to 1690s, 1960s-1990s)

Geography - Urban small city near the Atlantic Ocean

Things - Members of the Society have Familiar Companions such as Cats, Dogs, Rabbits, etc.. however these are characters more than props. Magical objects include Apples, Pears, Strawberries and Blueberries, spelled with capitals to distinguish from non-magical equivalents. The four fruits each correspond to the classes of earth, air, fire and water magic. (I've written an article before about the four fruits, but I may write more on some of these topics in the future.) Other objects include amulets worn by many of the characters (a sapphire icicle, a ruby heart, a diamond star and an emerald shamrock) which correspond again to the four classes of magic.

Other general objects include spell books and broomsticks. There are also four secret entrances to the four secret districts of the Society; the Crystal Clock Tower, the Golden Windmill, the Amethyst Swan and the Fountain of the Red Herring. Also expect a number of magic spells (including harmful curses) as well as other surprise magical items.

Time - The book starts at night and continues to the day.

Weather - [Spoiler Censor]